Reader
During the last few months I have had a very interesting journey within that has made me remember why I became a coach on the first place.
We seek, tirelessly a sense of belonging, we need it as much as we need air to breath and food to nourish our bodies. In that search, we end up mold ourselves into shapes that fit into the various molds of society, we fall into the cookie cutter trap, thinking that if we are able to simply fit into the mold, we will find belonging
The paradox of this search is that the more we try to belong somewhere, anywhere, we drift further from the one place where true belonging lies: within us.
Imagine being Mystic of the X-men (I know ho much this dates me!), ever changing, ever adapting to each new environment, rewarded and admired for her versatility. With this constant transformation, what would she looks in the mirror, what is the reflection she sees? Is she able to recognize herself?
In the same manner than Mystic, we use masks that we believe the world wants us to use, what we think others want us to be. And we change our colors, our essence of who we are, to match that of those around us. While it can be intoxicating, it is also fleeting ... For every mas we wear, a piece of our true self fades into the backdrop.
Belonging is not a destination reached by external validation. It is not found with the approval or our friends, our partners, our parents, our bosses or our children. True belonging starts the moment we decide to embark on the most important journey we will ever take: the journey inward.
This journey can, and will be uncomfortable. We will face all our deepest fears, our doubts, all that negative self talk. And when we are able to come to the other side, when we are able to see what is inside, we can start working on accepting what is. Not what "should be".
The reward is getting to know ourselves in a way we have never done before. To know what are we truly capable of if we don't have to change who we are, if we don't have to please anyone. When we find this, we are able to start working toward surrender, the inner power, the power of self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Through reflection, we begin to understand the essence of who we are. Journaling becomes not just an act of writing but a dialogue with the soul. In these quiet moments of introspection, we peel away the layers of external expectations to reveal the core of our being.
In the next few weeks, we will explore some tools to help us in the journey. Every journey needs supplies, sometimes they are water, food, money. In this case, we will bring curiosity, and inquisitive mind, a mind opened to all the possibilities, because at the end of the day, we ARE possibilities.
True Belonging
Here are some of the tools I have used in this journey, journaling has been essential. It has been a way to get to know my deepest and darkest thoughts. It puts them in paper so I can witness them.
Answer the following questions:
- Have you ever changed a part of who you are to fit into a group or situation?
- How did that make you feel in the long run?
- What does belonging truly mean to you? Is it a feeling, a place, or perhaps a state of mind?
You can put them in paper for journaling, or you can simply answer the questions, but I invite you to really think about them. When you take all the masks, who are you?